2011...wow.

It's already going to be 2011? Dude, most of my friends are graduating this year. Again! I really need to start hanging out with other 2012ers or something. This is getting sad. D:

Well, real point of this was that somebody was talking about how DIFFERENT 2011 is going to be for them and all that...and it kind of made me think. How will 2011 be different for me?

First thought: Like I said, I'm losing friends to graduation. Again. I hate that. I mean, I'd be graduating this year, too, if I'd been born a month earlier or whatever...but, considering the whole panic thing about growing up I have, that might not be good, huh? But at least then I'd be leaving with most of my friends that I actually kind of hang out with at school. Anna, Joe, and Lucy...seriously, they're the only people I really actually like to be around at school. -___-;; Other people are cool, too, but...usually...I see them when I'm around people that I don't like to be around for whatever reason. (Like them ignoring me for some stupid reason...rrgh.) Anyway anyway anyway. That would not be much different than 2010 because a whole crap load of cool seniors graduated last year, too. (I'm lookin' at you, fellow band geeks.)

Second thought: I will probably still be my shy little self. I will still be mistaken for a freshman or whatever the heck people think I am (lady at Meijer the other day thought I was thirteen...lots of fun, that was) and I will still have no social life. I will still be the dork I am and still probably be as panicky as I am now. I'll try to fix it and probably earn a little progress...and I probably won't notice any change because it'll be so slight.

Third thought: I am going to be really, really busy for the first month. I mean, basketball games, swim meets, school work, AND preparing for that GRCC cultural thing?!?!?! Dude, I've been having a hard enough time trying to learn both Russian and Japanese over break! I was doing great on the Russian until the fifth day or so because I just didn't want to listen to those tracks anymore and now I've got guitar, too...arrrrrgh. It's too much! I'm suddenly very glad I don't have a social life! I'd never get any sleep!

Fourth thought: ....I really, really hope there's a guy somewhere in 2011. I don't mean to sound like a typical teenaged girl, but...auuuuuuuuggggggggggggggh. Watching Easy A today didn't help much. Now I want my life to be like an 80's movie!

Fifth thought: I think Mrs. Williams might be done reading Chuck when we get back from break. Maybe she'll be all done doing English teacherly things to it and I can start editing it! I've been itching to, but I didn't want to mess with it until I saw what she thought needed to be changed.

Sixth thought: I wanna write another novel.

So, basically, my goals are as follows:

-Get a little less shy
-Get some friends that aren't graduating, darnit.
-Get less busy OR freak out less about being busy
-Get a guy
-Get Chuck ready for sending to a publisher
-Write another novel

In order of most likely to be reached, I think it's....Less shy, get Chuck publisher ready, write another novel...ehh...freaking out less about being busy/get less busy...get friends that aren't graduating............and get a guy. I actually highly doubt that last one will ever happen. If it does, dude, I will be on cloud freaking nine.

So....2011, dude. Don't suck too much, k? Thanks, man. :D

Happy Birthday to Hayley Williams...

...Heather O'Rourke, Louis Pasteur, and...oh, hey, ME!

Yes. I'm seventeen. Scary thought, huh? But I am. And I need to get moving because I have a lot to do today. Just wanted to pop in and be uber narcissitic with a HEY GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYS 'S MY BIRFDAY.

Oh, and leave you with this video hurr. :D



Warning: F-bomb present. Not that I think a lot of people who read this (that I know, anyway) really care. Also, the only real relation between me and this song is the age, 'cause, well, my daddy's not a Repo Man. xD

.....or at least I don't think he is? o____O

Eight o'clock in the morning....

....is WAAAAAAAAAY too late on Christmas. I mean, come on. It's Christmas!!!

I think I got some pretty cool stuff. I mean, Christmas is supposed to be about Jesus, I know, but there's still the whole material element and we all know that. And because I'm not very good at religious things...well...I'm going to acknowledge the more material part. I mean, I'm still a kid, so I'm allowed to...right?

I was told that eight o'clock was the earliest I could try to get everyone up. Yes, I am the one that makes sure we get up early on Christmas. My parents would gladly sleep in and Megan would, too, despite it's awesomeness. I was awake a lot this morning, despite the whole going to bed early bit. And it took another half hour, I think, to get everyone in place. Megan and I are NEVER allowed in the living room until my mom's ready to take our pictures when we first walk in. It makes it all very frustrating, especially when you've been awake on and off since six o'clock... *sigh*

But it was cool. Everyone had a bucn of presents and I got a camera. :D Very happy day. And We're Back!, which I've been wanting to watch for foreeeeeverrrrrr....and other movies and that Dance on Broadway wii game or whatever. And I found the pickle (old German tradition, I think; Google it) and so I got Ponyo, too! Very very cool. And...as well as all that...I got this:



A compact mirror. (Jenna's girliness goes up ten percent!)

Apparently it's for my contacts. Um...yeah.

But yeah. Christmas morning was awesome. And the rest of today is probably going to be hanging out and playing our games and watching movies. It should be fun.

ALSO: Don't do mass texts. Then you end up sending stuff to people you don't talk to anymore that you probably didn't mean to, and, well...that just makes it awkward for everyone, doesn't it? Yeah.

BUT MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! :D Enjoy your holiday! I know I'm going to. :3

"You look like a boy."

.....
Thank you, Megan. Thank you.

She said this after I'd straightened my hair, which I've kinda been meaning do to for forever to see how it looked with the new 'do. I think it looks nice.



How 'bout you?

Scariest thing ever, though? Having that hot straightening iron so close to the back of my neck. o___o Possibly the scariest thing I've done ever, including the stupid rides Kate got me on this summer.

*shudder*

Okay, maybe not the scariest thing.

But yeah, I had a girly hour. And it was nice. *shrug*

Sledding sledding sledding...

It's kind of funny that someone who wants everyone to be happy causes so much grief. Isn't it?

A happier post for an awesome person.

Who else could I be talking about but.....




....my fantastic cousin Katherine?!?!??!?!

She is my big sister! She tries to help me figure things out, like the comments on this blog obviously show. And she's always, always doing that, no matter what. And I love her for it. :D

Eh...I wanted to have more awesomeness for you, Kate, but my brain is dead. .__.

But THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU~! And I love you a whole bunch. Thanks for being so great. :3

Friends....enemies....frenemies?

I'm kind of sad that I've apparently lost someone as a friend. I mean, even if we didn't really hang out or anything...it's just really sad to go from talking and saying that we loved one another to being completely ignored. I don't care if I shouldn't care about people that don't want to be my friends. Even if you tell me they're not worth my time, I'm gonna care that I lost a friend. I'm just like that, okay? And eventually, I'll probably get over it. But right now, I want to care. It makes me feel more like me and I don't like to play pretend like that. Y'know, fairy princesses and stuff I can do, but not like that.

It was kind of brought to my attention that this lost friend (further known as Si for reasons that are mostly my own) was asked to help plan a surprise for my birthday and had a bit of an outburst about it on the internets. Now, I don't know if Si was actually upset about that or not, but from the information I was given, it kind of seems that way. I can see where they're coming from, kind of. I'm nice to people a lot of the time and it rarely comes back to me. I can see getting frustrated about it, especially if you're more open and out there about it. But part of me just can't help but wonder, was it because it was me? Because it was my birthday? I know, it's terribly narcissistic, but I just can't help it! It's a reasonable and logical conclusion at this point, isn't it? But I don't know. Maybe Si was venting about something else. I can't really say because Si doesn't talk to me. I thought that I was loved and adored and it'd stay that way, but maybe that's what Anna and Luce thought, too. And things certainly were broken for them, weren't they?

A slightly related note: The day before last, people were all discussing being alone and friendless over break. One person was assured they would not be so because they'd hang out and ice skate! I made a quiet comment that I probably would be, meaning it only to be half-joking (because, honestly, how social am I? My birthday and the New Year's things will probably be the extent of my social gatherings the next couple of weeks). The person that was assured asked me why while other people continued to discuss ice skating and I responded with a quick glance towards the assumed culprit for what seems to be a bit of social isolation. I was pleased because my subtlety was picked up on and understood. That person said that the two of us could just hang out or something, then, and I was just a bit more happy. I was a little less happy, though, when someone I talked to more didn't get how or when things sort of 'sploded...that was kind of sad, really.

But the whole point of this? I want to apologize. I want to be better and all that, but my pride's in the way. And I'm afraid to talk to Si because...well...what if they laugh in my face? Or just think I'm trying to make myself feel better? It's partly that, of course, but...I don't know. Maybe it's all that. I just want to be a good person that most people like, you know? And I hate that someone might still be mad at me, even when I apologized...I mean, did I do something else wrong? What was it? Can I fix it? I want to know so I don't do it again. I want to know so maybe I can't have some epiphany, see that either one of us is clearly in the wrong...and get on with my life. Maybe I need to write about it. Writing about it seems to make everything so, so much better.

I think I might be writing a short tale similar to this. Then anything I want can happen. It may or may not end up on Authorly, once it's been finished...but then again, no one ever reads that, right? So what's the point?

I know I've said it time and time again, but arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh I don't like people. :/