Just sayin'....

....but if you play guitar, bass, or drums, you should let me know.

Weber, Joe, Omar, Marcos, Edward, Chris Tett, Chris Best, etc, etc, if any of you ever read this, YOU DON'T COUNT. D: I already know you play whatever you play. So nyeh.

That is all.

I am NOT crazy.

Not yet, anyway.

But the way some people seem to NOT be listening to me when I'm trying to tell them something makes me think that maybe, hey, I'm only imagining that I said anything at all.

Except that other people know I said something, so I'm not crazy. Unless they are, too. And we're hallucinating the same thing. That's not very likely, is it?

First time was yesterday when this City kid in marching band was talking about Forest Hills Central while they were warming up for the game. Y'know how football players sometimes do that little jog-around-their-half-of-the-field thing so they can sloooowly get warmed up and not hurt themselves? Well, obviously Micah (the kid) has never seen this done and started complaining about how STUPID and SLOW they were. I got a little upset and (oops) 'sploded a tad. I turned around and almost-screamed at him about how they're getting ready for the game and just to shut up. As skinny as the kid is, I doubt he could do any better. That "stronger than you'll ever be" shizz he was pulling on Union-Kevin is hard to believe. I bet I could still kick his butt. Anywho, he just continued calling it stupid like I hadn't said anything ad ignored me. I dunno if it's because he couldn't understand me (I get really fast and high-pitched when I'm upset sometimes... xD) or because he thought I was yelling at someone else. But yeah. I buried my face in TrevTrev's shoulder and asked him if I'd just imagined it in my head. He said I hadn't. I wanted to punch Micah in the face a little bit. But I think Weber would be upset if I did that. And that would be bad.

Second time was today during the REC soccer game (which, sadly, we lost; but we got the first goal with only one sub against their four-subs-and-switching-every-five-minutes, so, eh, whatever) and I was trying to get the defense line to move up 'cause I'm sweeper most of the time and sort of in charge of it a little bit. Or at least I get to yell at them to move. But, yeah, Coach was trying to get me to get them to move, so I was yelling at 'em, and they were just standing there, not even a foot apart from each other, maybe talking, I dunno. They were girls, of course (reason numero uno I like to be around guys more e________e) and I ended up screaming a little at them, too (oops). I think they don't like me much anymore. xD But that's okay. I don't like them much most days, either.

Playing soccer is soooo much fun. I think I might actually try and STAY on the Ottawa team this year since I'm going to be old to play for the REC team after my birthday. *tear* I'm terrified that if I do, though, I'll kill myself with all the crap. xD Maybe it's better that we have semesters again. Then I have less to worry about a little bit, what with only having one switch of classes! And I won't have exams nearish the start of soccer, either. So maybe it would be okay.

And I think I've got serious shin splints. It hurt to just be standing after the game today. xD Gym + soccer + stairs = BAD. So, so bad. But that's okay. It just means I'll get stronger!

....right?

Bright side: I haven't torn my ACL. :D ...yet. That stupid red shirt guy probably came close last week. ;___;

But tomorrow I'm walkin' around Artprize with my dad and Megan! Woot! :DDDD

OH! And I made a playlist to listen to when I'm doin' Novanet or something and I picked all songs from the last five years or so! I'm so proud of myself. ♥

(There, Katherine, I copied and pasted. I still like doing less than three better.)

I had a coolish blog post planned out.

Or at least it seemed coolish in my head. It was gonna be about how I JUST REALIZED last night what I've been missing since the end of the school year (other than people that have graduated and the non-hub system): The singing thing! And people knowing me in the hall because of it and telling me I did a good job! Or a great job! Or that I was awesome! I really, really miss that!

So, yeah, I was going to write about that...but then Andrew said he wanted me to sing, so now I just have to find guitarists, bassists, drummers. And I don't know any. xD Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

Uhhhh. That's kind of it. I just wanted to write SOMEWHERE other than the Faceybook that I found it funny that I was thinking about it last night/this morning and then POOF! College kids suck and I want you to sing. xD

Oh! I FINALLY NOTICED THAT STATS BUTTON! AND CLICKED IT! And somehow I have gotten fourteen page views from India this week. And two from a DSi. Hmmmmm, wonder who that could be? ;P

I'm actually really excited that my page has been stumbled upon by people that aren't American. :'D Even if it was a glance-and-take-off sort of thing.

*crawls into hole*

Yeah, I dunno. I...I just don't feel like dealing with people right now.

Maybe it's because I'm really tired. Or 'cause GRCC--er, Grand Rapids Catholic Central, that is--has been a total asfjaksflakjdh to deal with lately. Or maybe people'll are just stupid.

I...dunno. Maybe it's 'cause I'm being stupid about somebody gettin' somewhere without me. Or because I don't see as much as I would like of somebody. Or because I'm just really confused about having the same urge to see someone even though I feel differently about them. ....ehhhehhhehehhehehehh. Things is so confusing.

Or maybe it's because I'm confused about wanting to be social and not wanting to be social and...ehhhhhhh. It's really freaking confusing!

I think some seniors should come visit. Like, uber soon. This might seem slightly random, I guess, but...it really isn't. At all.

Things is so confusing.

But apparently my blog is brilliant? Or whatever word it was that Lucy used? Thanks, Luce. Made me feel special.

Short lil letters....

....to things/people that were on my mind for a little bit today!

Dear Stupid Red-Shirted Soccer Player,

You stepped on my foot with your uber tallness that probably weighs more than I do despite you being thin and twisted my leg so my knee hurts (no pops and it doesn't hurt like a;jfa;dkjhhaksdj right now so I'm hoping nothing is damaged like Nikki or ma mere). You also shoved one of our players and didn't get called on it. I dislike you and suspect that you were a part of the scary aggressive purple team in the spring. D:< (Megan's realization, actually, but it makes sense.) We also beat your team, which is made up of basically ALLLLL the good people that play with this silly RECness, 5-1. So ha.

No hard feelings, I hope.

Jenna

Dear Social Niceties (and I guess Skype if you have a webcam),

Screw you. You get in the way of punching people we don't like in the mouth when we see them (borrowed words, hope the original author doesn't mind ;P). I would say people we hate....but hate's for Nazis. (Yes, my hypocrisy--is that the write word? Google says yes, but it sounds so wrooooong--IS showing. Thanks for pointing it out.) But, also, thanks for being there, Niceties, because otherwise I think I probably wouldn't be as nice to people as I am. xD

Hope you're well and not sucking at immunity like everyone else seems to be!

Jenna

More about zee REC soccer game today: I HAD A BREAKAWAY IN THE GAME WHERE I HAD THE BALL AND ALL THIS EMPTY SPACE BETWEEN ME AND THE GOALIE AND I WAS ALL "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RUUUUUUN!" but 'cause I'm like a cheetah in the way that I run out of energy quickly, I failed to make it to the goal. xD Geeeeeeeez I'm so lame. AND I HAD TWO SHOTS ON GOAL! Only one was "wheeeee let's be two feet to the right of the net~" and the other had a red player in the way of it. xD I'm so bad at forward sometimes it's ridiculous.

"Darling, I don't know how to tell you this, but... there's a Chinese family in our bathroom."

Funny things I noticed today:

I'm still loved after a slight mutinous turn? Weird. What makes me so special, I wonder?

The school computers load Youtube videos faster than ANY of our computers at home do. Is this irony? I can never tell. D:

Once awkward crap's outta the way, it's much easier to talk to somebody. x3

I absolutely ADORE the movie (500) Days of Summer, which is where our title comes from today!Zooey's adorable. *hearthere'causebloggersucks*

Earth (the thing that lets us check our grades) decided to let me have Mrs. William's email AFTER I'd already printed out my poem. wtf. xD

Alto is really, really easy to play. :'D

The "marching band" is rather small. Much smaller than I originally realized, I think. o___O

Tom's friend's quote is right: The best way to get over a person (in the quote lady, usually in my case a dude) is to turn them into literature! Worked well with my piece for the GVSU publication.

I almost watched Shane Dawson in third hour today. ^_____^;; But I listened to Well Thought Out Twinkles instead. 'Cause I love that song.

The original idea that made me want to write this is long forgotten. Which is actually sorta sad.

Uh. City kids are pansies. :D Yes, that's really funny. 'Cause none of 'em wanna march.

A kid in marching band tried to get my sister to drop the f-bomb. Pfffffft.

AND NOW IT'S REALLY TIME FOR PRISONER OF AZKABAN! OR SLEEP! OR SOMETHING!

Loooooove you all~~~

"Don't open the door!"

(Note: This was originally written in gym because I have it right after lunch and I was nooooot a happy camper after some idiocy that occurred then . ^^ And I ended up agreeing with the girl that wanted to grow up to be a hooker! Holy shizz! Weird day!)

Hard to believe that about a year ago we all more or less got along, isn't it? If you had said that things would deteriorate to this point a year ago, I wouldn't have believed you. If you'd said it about February, well, yeah, it would be a little less unbelievable. But really? How can people that used to be such good friends (or what seemed like good friends) suddenly dislike each other so much? Things like this make me scared for the relationships I hold near and dear now. Will Jade and I end up hating each other? Will I do something to piss off Andrew and screw that up forever? Will things get too panic-inducing with Brian that I'll stop talking to him at all? Will I do something stupid and permanently disappoint Kate? Will I hurt Megan in a such a way that she won't be able to forgive me for? Will I be too needy for Anna to handle? I really, really hope not, but what if it does happen? It's possible, isn't it? If that happy picture from WMCAT can be torn to pieces, than why not the relationships I have with the people I adore?

...um. I think I wanna be angry now instead of near tears. That okay? Cool.

The immaturity of that exclamation astounds me. It reminds me of last school year when Sharron didn't want Brittany to be in one little room off of the HUUUUUUGE band room because of some stupid drama fiasco between Britt and Dan (generally a bad break up). Sharron didn't want her there because she didn't like her. Didn't think she should have to be in the same room as someone she didn't like, so she wanted Brittany out, even if she was trying to help Nikki. I got frustrated with her and yelled at her, half crying because I was so angry. It's just really immature to not be able to share a space with someone you don't like. Even more immature to try and lock them out at lunch. This "don't open the door! No one open the door!" stuff is just ridiculous. I know we're high schoolers, but geez. I'd rather you guys cussed each other out than deal with this little kid crap.

And whoever took Anna's pen should give it back if they still have it. I mean, you tried to lock them out. It's the least you could do, right?

Oh, but wait. You're immature. So you won't give it back. Nevermind.

Thought Dump!

Yeaaaaaah no specific train of thought on this...just stuff that's kind of been bugging me, I guess?

Somebody was hoping somebody else would forfeit the lunch area by the gyms this week. It perturbed me at first because I like that person, but then I thought about it, and well...why should she have to forfeit something that she has more right to than most of the people that go down there to eat do? That area was for seniors only my freshman year, and sorry to break it to all the people that eat down there, but most of you are NOT seniors at all! I mean, some of you aren't even in the grade you should be! So why should a senior have to give up something for you that you aren't even supposed to have yet?! Rrrrrgh. And even if you ignore that, you share a whole freaking school. You probably pass each other in the halls. Is it so hard to just share such a large space with them? Geez. People's stupid.

I've gotten better about other stupid thought things! Now, instead of thinking something and fretting over it...like leaning on somebody's shoulder during a movie or some other nonsense...I have the thought, it's there for a moment, then it's gone. It's kinda like having a thought of where you could do something bad to someone else like hitting them, but you don't. It's there, but that's it. You had it, but without any feeling behind it. It's weird, but a good weird. And I'm proud of myself. :D

I really want to see the rest of Get Him to the Greek.

This weekend has been kind of great. Friday made me feel special! Except for that one awkward moment before the ribbon candy. Heh. But even that wasn't that weird for me!!

Raspberry ribbon candy tastes like cotton candy if you leave it sitting with popcorn for a couple of days.

I want cookies. :c

I'm pretty okay with everything the way it is right now.

WMCAT STARTS TOMORROW!

They re-released Eclipse in theaters for Bella's birthday. I want a re-release of DH part one for Harry's (this is assuming that DH part two will be released around the same time as Harry's birthday--July 31st for those of you that aren't complete HP dorks).

That's it.

I've used that a lot with blogs, haven't I? Interesting.

That's really it.

I'm feeling pretty fantastic.

I'm tired. I'm freaking EXHAUSTED, really. Seriously. I've been up since five-thirty. xP It's been a long day. BUT SCHOOL WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD!

I got Megan to her class, even though she had a little issue with the sub being unprepared and maybe mildly not-smart. AND MABIN'S STILL THERE! Oh, gawsh, YES, I am so happy about that. xD I don't even have a class with him at the moment and I'm ecstatic (but guess who's gonna be hounding those counselor to get them into his class neeeext tr-er, semester~~?). My math class seems to be okay. AND LIFE IS SO CONFUSING! I didn't get a hug, but...still! So confusing! And Kibbey, Megan, and I all have the same Yellow Submarine notebooks! :D Life is so cool sometimes!

Uuhhhhh in physics Evan (who looks WEIRD now, btw) decided that he and Richie should sit by me. I dunno why. But he did. But that was okay, too. I have them in weight training, too, which is gonna make me look so weaaaaaaaak. D: But that's okay! I'm a girl. I'm supposed to be like that. :3

Uhhhhhm other adventures or interesting facts of the daaaaay....I HAD TO YELL AT THE BUS DRIVER TO MAKE SURE SHE DIDN'T LEAVE US AT CENTRAL. 0___0 It was kind of stressful. I was polite, though. I said "excuse me" and "please". She was kind enough to come back around the block and get us even though she was pulling out of the parking lot. She was nice like that and I thanked her very much when we got off the bus. :3 She's nice nice nice.

BUT OMG! We got to City and NO ONE WAS THERE. At all! It was just us Montessori/Central kids in the biiiiiiig ole general-band-stuff room. But then people slooooowly started trickling in and I guess either Central was the closest or we got out the earliest from our fifth hours. *shrug* Or somethin' like that.

WEBER! Yes, I HAVE HIIIIIM. Ahaha. And I finally got him his pin that says something like DARTH VADER SITH LORD or something. I was going to put "WEB" over the "VAD" so it said DARTH WEBER because, well, that's what he is, but I didn't get the chance. ;__; He wore it for the rest of class, though, which was cool. :P He was also wearing his lame Central polo, I noticed. Bleh.

It was really warm today. xD Warmer than I thought. And I got to see some of my City friends, Cheook and Lashia mostly! But I got hugs and Cheook was mean and said I'd be in beginning band just 'cause I couldn't remember scales off the top of my head. D: She's not very nice sometimes. But she's not gonna be in marching band because she's a lamer. Hopefully, when everybody plays marching band music together tomorrow, she'll like it and she'll wanna be in marching band! :D 'Cause that'd be cool, even if she isn't the nicest all the time. :P

....uhm yeah! I think that's it. SCHOOL WAS OKAY FOR ONCE!

OH WAIT! I'm feeling NORMAL! Like, happy in an eight year old way where everything's just cool. I don't know if I'm too tired to worry about stuff or just too little-kid-like to care. But it's cool. I'm not longing for anybody and I'm not feeling giddy because of anyone and I kinda decided somebody'd be more of a big brother than anything else. *shrug* 'S what he's acted like, really. Sorting out my silly problems. (Yes, sir, you're a big brother now. ;P)

But that's really it. I'm happy and okay with stuff and completely exhausted. xD And I get to do it all over again tomorrow and the next day and on Monday and the next day and the next day! Life's okay! ^^

You'd think I'd 've stopped thinking about this by now...

...but no, why people thought I was a lesbian is still beyond me. xD

Seriously, what the heck? It doesn't really bother me because if you took the time to know me you'd know that I'm pretty darned sure I'm not, but I'm just really curious as to how the rumor got started. So, yeah, if anyone knows, they should tell me. No, really. o3o Tell me.

When I first heard the rumor, I found it really funny. Mostly because I know what crap my head's gone through because of dudes and my liking them. :P If switching teams was enough to make it all better, Lord knows I would have by now...but yeah, I know it wouldn't work. 'Cause life isn't that easy.

What was a little bit funnier, though, was when I posted a status about it and how it was apparently because I wore "guy clothes" (how this is possible when all my clothes come from the ladies' section is also beyond me), everyone that commented on it seemed to be talking about how people at school were stupid in making it. ;P How they knew I wasn't a lesbian. Uh, yeah, guys, that's obvious. Silly faces. I know I'm not and that's what matters. You don't need to reassure me about that.

Anywhozits...I'm thinkin' life would be more fun if instead of making all these rumors, if you had an idea about someone, or heard something about them, you just go right up to them and ask. It'd be simpler like that, wouldn't it? I'd really prefer it that way.

....sorry, I lied about something in this post. I actually have a couple of guy shirts (a Shane Dawson and a couple Paramore). *shrug* But they're cooler than the girl ones a lot of the time and it's easier to find a size that'll actually fit. Skinny stick-girls rule the clothing world, apparently. e_e ...no, not apparently. They do.

pffffffffffffffffffffffff

Oh, hey there, system that controls emotions and memory and whatever the else heck you do (too lazy to confirm your name at the moment). Just wanted to let you know that I do NOT want to have to deal with anything you send my way unless it's a story idea, has to do with a Disney movie, or anything to do with memories. I need those, but I could do without this silly love business for awhile because it's starting to screw with my head and kind of make me angry. So, uh, yeah. If you could just turn off the non-platonic love part for a little bit, that'd be great. Thanks, Jenna. PS- Could you ask whoever's in charge of sleep WHY I'm still awake? I mean, it's almost two-thirty, for Pete's sake. I have stuff to do tomorrow (no I don't).

Things that suck.

My stupid panicky brain.

Getting mad at my sister for something that isn't her fault.

Being the more fragile and panicky one when I'm supposed to be the older sister that takes care of her.

Vacuum cleaners.

The stiff feeling your face has after a long cry if you didn't wipe the tears away.

Having only one friend that you feel like you can talk to about what's bothering you.

That one friend being too far away to get a hold of very easily (and cellphoneless. grrrr.)

Straws.

Laughing at something a friend said but then bursting into tears again.

Still having a heavy feeling in your chest even though you've cried and cried and cried.

Having about two hours to figure out how you're going to deal with something that you really didn't want to deal with.

A house that still is a mess.

Caring that the house still looks like a mess and being too lazy to do anything about it.

My nose being stuffed up so I can't even try to practice Breathe to feel better.

Realizing it's been a really, really long time since I decided I was going to try and cover that and I still haven't done it.

Being as pessimistic as I am right now.

Not getting a response from someone you need to talk to.

This pessimistic post being written much faster than my more optimistic ones.

Knowing EXACTLY why I do something completely stupid and horrible and doing it anyway.

And a bunch of other things, too, but that about covers it.

Chex Mix of Thoughts

Yeah, I meant to post something like this yesterday, but I got distracted. The draft was saved yesterday, though, so will it say I posted it yesterday? I'm curious.

Anywho, I WENT TO MICHIGAN ADVE-er, MICHIGAN'S ADVENTURE ON TUESDAY. Geez, it's already Thursday, isn't it? I can't believe that. At all. :/

But, yeah, amusement park with my adorable cousins, Jordan and Molly, then their dad, my uncle Brian. It was pretty fun, even though I am pretty darned sure that those little girls are going to be taller than me when they're all grown up. xD They're seven and four, respectively, and I have issues picking them up now. They're pretty tall for their ages and I don't think it's very fair at all. Uncle Brian is the tallest of my dad's ten siblings, though, so I guess it only makes sense... (My dad having ten siblings blow your mind? Well, guess what? That's eleven kids in FIFTEEN YEARS. Yeah. Be amazed. Or something.) Molly and Jordan were more into the LET'S RIDE THIS! LET'S RIDE THAT! than I was and I ended up being the official bag watcher for Zach's Zoomer. xP I got mocked for not riding it. And then, later, when I did go on a ride that I didn't really want to and I gave a little shriek at the plunge-back-to-the-earth moment, I got mocked again. Why, oh, why can I not win?! My family is so, so mean to me sometimes. (By the way, the ride was the Logger's Run thing, and if YOU laugh at me for not liking it, then I will punch you in the face or sommat. I may be short, but I will make it happen.) When we got back, poor Molly was so sleepy that she kept trying to crawl back into our car. xD

Also, the day before, when we were at Woody's Cone Stop by my house with them getting ice cream, we saw a raccoon. It got stuck in the trash can. :P

Playing with the little dears made me realize that I had more or less become my dad with the tickling and the grabbing and them avoiding me because of it. :P But that's kind of okay because he was fun to play with because he did all that. Even though he tickles hard. ;___; Playing with them also made me realize that I would really, really, really like a mini me to take care of. :3 Not now, obviously, because I absolutely KNOW there is no way I could handle a kid, but now I definitely know that I'd like kids someday. Though I still do not have baby names picked out like most girls apparently do...

Oh, and this reminds me: NO, I would NOT leave the kid at Meijer's. I would be one of those uberprotective parents that watches the kids like a hawk. D:

More random thoughts include this: A year ago, one of my friends was being uberawesome and helping me with my post-break-up issues and helping make sure that I didn't burst into tears during band camp. She was the first person I freaked out with about being asked to Homecoming with. She was the first person I told that I liked who I like now. And a year before that, she was the only friend I had in band. First trimester, freshman year, she was the one I had all my classes with and we found all of them together. And in eighth grade, she was my clarinet buddy and stayed that way until the end of this school year. Now? Now I don't know. Realizing that I'd lost someone that did all this for me made me really, really upset. Before this, I thought I was okay with it. Now I've realized what exactly I've lost, I guess. I still want to try and figure out what the heck happened to cause all of this, but...I'm more sad about losing someone I geeked out about stuff with and helped me through crap that I needed help with.

I think I might be done writing about her now. But I don't know. It took me almost a year to get Ho--er, Omar out of my system, but eh. I think I'm getting better at letting stuff go, so maybe this is it.

Also, Limbic system, I am SORRY. Gosh. I don't think anyone would get what I was talking about if I started writing to you. Just trying to make it easier on everyone else. Plus, I didn't even know what you were called. So nyeh.

Extra sidenote added after some Internet surfage: It really, really, really bothers me when something I like or am a part of is defended by people that cannot write or speak properly. They think they might be helping, but in some aspects...no, they're not. ;_;