Reasons I should not talk on the phone.

Number one: I like to try to multi-task and fail epically. Usually this includes the Internet or the television.

Number two: I like to nod. Unfortunately, my head does not rattle nor does it have a bell attached.

Number three: Related very much to the last one, I'm a facial expression kinda person.

Number four: I get mini-anxiety attacks kind of with those awkward silences. And also when I talk to anyone that I haven't talked to constantly on the phone with before, aka my mom, dad, Megan, or Brittany.

Number five: I don't talk. Ever.

Number six: Uh...I dunno. I just wanted another blip on the list.

Side note: I lost my awesome pen and feel like crying. Stupid girly frustration instincts and writerly attachments.

Other side note: This comic right here is by this awesome guy I believe is named Joe. I don't know him at all, other than through his awesomesauce comics thar, but I know he's got anxiety issues like moi and I think maybe a couple extra views might make him happy? I dunno. But go forth, you three people that read this semi-regularly! Make 'im happy. Ish.

Eehee.

I'm so blissful.

....gawsh, this is gonna SUCK when reality hits, isn't it? Of course it is.

Pfft. Oh well~

Today....

.....was uneventful and yet eventful.

I woke up really late compared to most of this week, when I was up around the same time as my sister who had to get to a class at WMCAT by ten o'clock (which of course meant afternoon naps!). I was expecting to spend most of the day in my pajamas because I didn't think we had anything to do. To my surprise, we ended up going to the movies! And we saw Despicable Me. And it was funny. And I think Agnes should've been a bigger character than Margo 'cuz she was cuter and I liked her better. C: The theater/auditorium/whatever was really full, too, because it was so tiny. Celebration Cinema South' theater number four = bad. There were also a bunch of probably-middle-school-aged boys behind us that were kind of annoying and kicked my seat a few times. And I thought it was funny that you could tell who hadn't gone to the movies lately by listening to who laughed at what trailers (namely the Tangled one; Flynn Rider getting schooled by hair is only funny so many times).

Then, we got invited out the the Johnsons' to take part in the impromptu barbecue. We brought the dogs over and they played with Tucker. Madison showed him who was boss and got a lot of compliments from Bruce, surprisingly enough (the compliments, not the Tucker-beating). We had yummy food that was made by grill master Bruce and a good time was had. Even Rich (loserfaced social studies teacher hockey guy) showed up with his kids, who were afraid of lil old Madison the toothless wonder.

All in all, today was pretty good. ^__^

Oh, and I saw the evil moving goat. It, of course, found a new place to sit.

And somebody mentioned Google ads for my blog. Apparently, after the first hundred dollars, I get money (or maybe I heard wrong?)? This might be a good idea. But, the question is, would you guys click them every day for me? Hmmmm. I don't think so. :/

AND I GET TO GO TO THE MOVIES (i think) AND THE BONFIRE TOMORROW! HA HA!

Animated dogs and remembering their names.

So, I found the tail-end (hahahahahahahah) of All Dogs Go to Heaven on TV and now I'm watching the sequel. :D And I found that I could actually remember the villain's name (Carface, if you don't remember/haven't seen it). I was gonna try to go to sleep before midnight...but now...yeah, I'm staying up to watch my movie. :3 (Despite owning it on DVD and everything.)

I was also pleased that the first four images that came up on the Googles image search were actually Carface the dog and not Scarface or a car with a face on it.

............

That's it.

:D

On a lighter note:

Granola and vanilla yogurt make a surprisingly good two-thirty in the morning snack.

:D

Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.

(Bonus points if you recognize that.)

Bad: That's the best way to describe tonight. This early morning. Whatever.

Got back from hanging out at a cottage on Lake Michigan with my dad's boss and coworkers. That was fun. We went swimming and there were waves that were almost as tall as me (not saying much, I know, but it was cool). There was yummy food and even the kids weren't that difficult to deal with. They were heavy, though, for however-old-they-are-year-olds.

But when I got back...I dunno. Reality, my stupid overanalyzing habit, whatever it is, just came rushing back. I started feeling really bad because I already made plans with a friend to do something Sunday after the family reunion and then I got invited to go to the movies with...well...YOU know and some other people, and I really, really wanted to go to that, even though the bonfire sounded really fun, too. I sent the friend a message earlier about how I was feeling conflicted and crap and she told me she was cool with it if I wanted to go to the movies instead, there'll be more bonfires....but I always thought that I wouldn't be that stupid girl who puts boys before her friends. I mean, I KNOW I haven't talked to this friend in awhile, but this get-together on Sunday could change that, y'know? I could have some of my normalcy back.

But then, I almost NEVER SEE him. And we're both tight on money, so there's not a whole lot either of us know what to get together for...and I'll see the friend every day at school. He's all gradamatcated. He said he'd visit, but...I dunno. He's moving on, I think. I really, really don't want him to because I don't think I could handle it.

Which of course made me go down the road of his love-obsession thing that he's not too happy with himself about. I KNOW it's not me, but there's always that intellectual-emotional disconnection there...and it just leaves me with this little hope that maybe, just MAYBE it'd be me. Then reality hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel like crap. Much like tonight.

Then, of course, he posts about what a great mood he's in. And I feel like shiiiiiiiiiiizz 'cuz somebody else made him happy, maybe it was her, la la la green monster of doom attacking. And I absolutely HATE myself for that because I have no right to be jealous. We are FRIENDS, darnit. Nothing more. I've got it through my thick skull, now I just have to get it down to my silly romantic heart.

Of course, I found something else that made me just burst into uncontrollable sobs (which had to be softened to make sure no one woke up, of course). I'm only freaking sixteen. Why do I take all of this so seriously? I don't need to be doing this sort of crap now. I don't need to be looking for the love of my life right now. I AM NOT ARIEL. I will not find my prince before my seventeenth birthday. Disney has corrupted my head. Gaaaaaaaaagh. I just wish that I could be one of those girls that flirts all the freaking time and then maybe I wouldn't take this all so seriously. Honestly? I think I flirt on accident sometimes. I see it as just me being friendly, but, uh, it's taken the wrong way, I think. I dunno. I think I'm egging on a slightly-creepy kid by being nice. ;___;

But...the uncontrollable sobs did help. It was a pretty good cry, and I do feel better now. I still have no idea what the heck to do about anything, but I feel better. I wish I could just have a cry like this on command sometimes and not feel like I have to do it in private. Stupid culture or society or whatever it is that makes us think we need to be ashamed of crying. Stupid stupid stupid.

Oh, long post. Haven't had one of these in awhile. Huh.

...I wonder if that What's-His-Face'll come back. If you do, What's-His-Face, I hope you actually do find my blog to be...uhm..."hot" and enjoy reading it. Sorry I don't find yours completely intriguing. D:

Reading leads to realizations.

So, I was reading my awesome lawyerly book this evening because it's awesome and I wanna know who the rose killer is. While reading, I stumbled across something that was said by the husband of one of the victims. He said, "But knowing something intellectually and dealing with it emotionally are two different things." He was talking about the feeling of guilt that he couldn't protect his wife from being kidnapped and tortured. This is a completely random line from a pretty darn good book, but I feel like I finally understand why I have issues with certain emotion-y things. It's because even if I do get it in my head, I don't get it in my heart and that scares me.

Not much of a blog, but something I wanted to put out there. Mhm.

Oh, and the book's called Gone, But Not Forgotten by Phillip Margolin, if you were wondering. He also wrote a book called The Burning Man, I think, that I have and liked, too.