Rawrawrawr.

This is not an "I love you" rawr. This is a "DARNIT, I am FRUSTRATED" rawr.

I'm honestly feeling a little panicked now, too.

One of my friends decided to take off after a fight with her mom. Her phone is broken so no one can get a hold of her. She walked to another friend's house, which is quite a bit aways, instead of coming here, to my house, which is maybe a mile and a half from her house? I don't know, I'm bad at estimates. But I do know we're a lot closer than this other friend.

Which makes me frustrated, obviously. I've known this girl since middle school. That's three years now. Why on earth did she not feel she could come here? Why did she walk all the way to their house instead of mine? Is it for the same reason that she hasn't talked to me in ages? What did I DO?

And the fact that she took off at all is frustrating, too. I mean, I understand her mother is a little much sometimes...but why did she need to leave and go so far? Ugh. I don't get adolescence. I feel like I need to leave sometimes, but I don't actually DO it....I know that my parents would worry too much. Again, I feel like a failure of a teenager. I worry too much that I'll hurt them by taking off, so I don't. Or I'm too afraid of getting in trouble or disappointing them. Take your pick.

Today was a pretty good day, besides this. And yet I've felt like crap all day. Someone want to explain that to me? We played Rock Band in band, lunch was actually pretty good, I got to goof off in three out of five classes, and we watched a hilarious Charlie Chaplin film (The Gold Rush) in English. Today was REALLY good in the school department! So WHY do I feel like crap?

Maybe it's because someone (or, rather, a LOT of someones) has been ignoring me, even though I thought we were pretty good friends. I feel like I did something, but I don't know what I might have done. Usually I get hi's and hugs and shizz, but now? NOTHING! One friend even has a birthday party coming up and I've heard her ask others to come, but I've heard nothing to me, personally. It's just as well, because the family is taking a beach day that day, but STILL. Why wasn't I invited? I'm scared to ask because I don't want to look like I expected to be (even though I kinda did; being clarinet buddies and stuff means you're usually invited, doesn't it?). I'm even scared to ask what I might've done wrong in case I'm being paranoid. But it's really starting to worry me.

I just realized that this loserface has been in my blog more than I'd like her to be. Darnit. Rawrawrawr.