kono hana moe YUKUUUUUUUUUU~

That's Japanese! Kinda! Sorta! ...yeah. It's from the Japanese song I'm supposed to be learning for the multicultural festival they're having at GRCC (I say "supposed to be" because, well, as much as I love the song and the idea of performing it, I don't think we're gonna be able to pull it off in time). The song is called Hanabi and it's by Ikimono Gakari (it's a group, not a person, btw) and I suggest you give it a listen. It's pretty cool. Or at least I think it is. So if you like Queen, Disney, musicals, Paramore, etc, then I'd check it out. :3

I think that line means something like "this flower will keep burning." Or maybe I'm confusing it with another part of the song. (This is very likely.) But the song is kind of about being far apart from someone you care about, or at least that's what I gathered from the glimpse I had of the English lyrics. It's sorta kinda fitting because my bestie, Andrew, picked it and I barely get to see him. (Andrew, if you read this and I've got the meaning wrong, please let me know! xD I haven't looked at the English lyrics in forrrreeeeverrrrr...)

Tonight I was messing around with my guitar, McCarthy, a tad (yes, he has a name) and looking at this Rock Guitar for Dummies book (also from Andrew--he's a Godsend at times). I was lookin' over the chords 'cause I'd read the beginning part of the thing already and how the book is more guitar literate than the Guitar for Dummies (and how literate is a funny word for a genre that includes KISS) and I messed around with some of the chords that were there and the ones I'd picked up from Hanabi until I was kind of working on Hanabi. And I think I've kind of got it? I mean, it's a super simplified version of "got it" and a ton slower, probably, but messing around with guitar and the lyrics seems to be helping my memory. :D

And I also worked on my duet with Megan for solo/ensemble today. Apparently we got this really awesome judge that loves Weber's music and jazz so we should be good. Except I can't play this chunk of the song. I mean, I asked for a little more pizazz, I'll admit. But I didn't think more interesting would mean all this superfasthighE stuff. D: I am not a fan of this high E stuff. At all. (I'm pondering upon sayin' screw it and just singing that part when it comes up...but I think even a cool judge would get mad at me for that.) And during my breaks for that, I worked on lyrics and the correct dynamics and pronunciation for Hanabi! Part of me is like "YES CHOIR! YOU'VE GIVEN ME GOOD TECHNIQUES!" while the other is "AUGH I'M SAYING THIS THE WRONG WAY." Mostly it's been for my T's, which in this song should sound more like D's, but...anyone that's been in choir for a long time should know why I'm struggling here. I wanna say the T so everyone knows it's a T, but...I...can't...

And my poor, poor diaphragm. Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to try and be loud. I'll just get closer to the mic or something. Or we'll work on it. I'm sorry. Please don't make me lose air and squeak again. I dun wanna be the way Anna described a singer like that. D: I'm cooler than that. (No offense, anonymous singer.)

OH AND YEAH. It was funny because on Saturday, Andrew came over and helped me with Hanabi and actually used real music terms. This is more astounding when you know that just last May he was telling a bassist to play "off beat" instead of on the up or down beat (I think it was the up beat in this case). There were also a significantly lower amount of "y'knows" and such, which was kind of really cool to notice. College has done some good! Hooray! (Again, Andrew, I love you and mean no harshness--it's a good thing, I swear).

And that's it. I should really be going to bed, especially considering there is a lot to do tomorrow: School, band, work. But I get to make money. Yay money!

Oh, hey, there.

I totally didn't forget about this. And I'm not even being...y'know...denial-y or anything. I just haven't had any time to write. xD Y'know, school, work...ish...and stuff. Lots of crud to do.

But yeah. A little while ago I discovered wizard rock. This is a good example of its cool.



I'd be in Ravenclaw. I'm smart and not so good at people. I don't like to act. I'd definitely be in Ravenclaw. *nodnod*

And...and...I dunno. This is me saying HEY GUYS I'M NOT DEAD, PLEASE DON'T NOT READ. D: Even though no one reads.

*sigh* I'll come up with something smart soon. Promise.

INSIDE OUT!

Megan started playing Imelda May tonight and I wanna share. She was on Graham Norton last week or something and I kind of love her. And yeah! :D


(Elvis dress!!!!!!!!)

Am I the only one that thinks Megan should consider a polka dotted trombone? I think it'd be neat. And pretty. And yeah. x3
Also, Imelda's Irish. With quite a strong accent. I've kind of wondered...where do those accents go? o___o Like with Freddie and stuff. The accent just goes...poof! 'S weird, innit?

Anywho, had exams today. Well, exam. I was exempt from my physics one but hung out there anyway. I got a looooooot of reading done (good thing, considering I'm reading Under the Dome by King and its just over 1,000 pages). And tomorrow I have the other half of my gym exam and that's it. I don't have to go to school on Friday. HA!

And that's it. Night.

This.

"Think about this.

The person you are going to marry is walking the Earth at this very second.

That thought alone should give you hope to continue each and every day, knowing someone, somewhere is completely in love with you, even if you both don't know it yet."

I found this on Six Billion Secrets today. It made me smile. And kind of gives me a million and three hopes.

♥

Guh.

This is evil in its most pure form. (Or at least it is today.)

My physics teacher, Mrs. Hodder, uses colored light bulbs for this terrible review game that isn't really that terrible. I just don't like it. There are three colored light bulbs, one that's red, one that's yellow, and one that's blue. I usually end up on the blue team, so that's why I chose a blue lightbulb. It holds special hate in my heart. It also has the bulkiest switch and is the most awkward to flip, I think. Anyway, so three people go up to the lightbulbs, one from each team, and they listen to Hodder read the question and the answers, if it's multiple choice. Then, when they have an answer, they flip the switch. First light to turn on gets to answer, and if they're wrong, then the next one, etc. I'm actually pretty good at flipping the switch and know the answers most of the time, so meh. It's kind of alright. I just don't like playing the stupid game. It might be because I put way too much pressure on myself and thus get way too worked up over academic things (as if my last post didn't already prove that). It might be because some of the time I really shouldn't be doing it because I'M NOT TAKING THE TEST. That's right. I'm exempt from the exam and I still have to do the review because "they need me." I have two reasons that this is a faulty argument for my playing the stupid game for two reasons:

1. I'm not as competitive (or at least I'm trying not to be) because I don't actually need the extra credit points. So I'm not trying my absolute best and kind of failing my team mates anyhow. In addition to this, no one really has the "oh Jenna's up here I'll never get the answer" mentality that gave me a little bit of an extra advantage even when I didn't know right away.

2. HOW IS THAT FAIR?! I earned my 106% through hard work, thank you very much, so why should I give them easy extra credit points? I've done most of the extra credit problems this semester and gotten them right all on my own. I earned mine. So why should my team mates get it easy? And how is that academic on any level? How will they learn anything by having it served to them on a silver platter? They won't, that's how. Hmph.

I just really, really don't want to have to do any of the gross review stuff because I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! And I had that second argument all set in my head to tell Hodder, too, but then I just gave in and pouted like a five year old about how I didn't want to do it. Ugh. I looked very mature to her, I'm sure. Which kind of puts even more of a damper on my mood. I don't know why I didn't bring up this argument, but whatever. She's the teacher, I have to listen to her, blah blah blah...

...but not if I'm not in class, which I might be on Tuesday...assuming Mrs. Williams lets me hang out in her room then...

BUT THEN GUESS WHAT?! I completely had the answer right for the first question and because I STUTTERED a little, she almost didn't give it to me! O____________O I can't help it if my brain is a little flustered because I'm doing something that I don't want to! I had the right answer, and I said it several times. Power is work divided by time, usually joules by seconds. I know's my stuff. So Hodder needs to gimme the credit for it.

....also, notice somethin' about my percentage there? I could completely fail the exam, get a 0, and STILL HAVE AN A. I think that proves very, very well that I DON'T need to do this review.

If this situation occurs next semester, I am completely writing a paper for reasons I shouldn't have to do it. It would not only (probably) get me out of it, it would prove my superior writing skills. And yeah.

*solemnnod*

That is all.

RUSSIAN. I HATE YOU.

Not really. It's not your fault you're a difficult language. It's all my fault for not approaching you as I should have. An online class was not my best idea and now I think my GPA is going to pay for that.

Assuming I get a C (the very best situation at this point, I think), my GPA will drop from 9.7severalothernumbershere to 9.16666666667 or something. That's still pretty great, I guess, but...

I WANT A FOUR POINT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH...!

And even though it is still pretty fantastic, I'm kind of freaking out. What if I lose valedictorian because of it?! I don't know how lazy the rest of my class is. I don't know how everyone else did in their classes the past two years and I don't know how well they'll do in the next year and a half. Worse, I don't have trimesters to help buffer anymore. Oh, how I miss them. Not only have I lost my way of cushioning my grade, I have almost the same schedule the whole year. It sucks. I envy you, EK, and your continual use of the trimester system.

...ugh. I'm kind of really upset. My flash drive is probably lost forever. I wanna cry. I wanna go to sleep. I have to run in gym. Auuugh.

EDITING!

I'M DOIN' IT FO' REALS NOW!

Mrs. William's finaaaally gave the manuscript--you have no idea how excited I am to use that word, although I don't know if it actually applies--back to me yesterday and I started making changes as soon as I sat down at the computer. We were in the computer lab working on our essays to go along with our big ol' Crucible projects, something I've had since Monday because I was working on making money the rest of the week (yay swim meets!). One of my friends sat next to me and asked me "Geez, Jenna, how much did you write?" I was very, very proud of myself to say it was my novella. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't quite the term novella, so it's really just my "book," I guess. But whatever. I WROTE SOMETHING. It is back in my hands. ...I AM SO HAPPY.

But now I've made changes and I don't think I'll be allowed to print it out again so someone else can try reading it. And it's rather hard to try and read something on the computer; I've already tried editing it that way. But, still...anyone wanna try reading it now?

"I'm okay."

ahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaha no I wasn't.

But they believed me, so I didn't have to talk about it. So whhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaatevs.

First hour sucked. A lot.

And my head hurts. Presumably from all the sniffling I did. Augh. I have to run in gym. I have to work a swim meet tonight. I just don't feel like I can. But maybe it'll get better. Maybe not. I don't really care right now.

Hey, hey GRPS. I think you should give us a snow day tomorrow. If you don't, I'm gonna be really, really tempted to take a mental health day.

Thank you, Pandora, for playing Panic Switch. COMPLETELY what I needed right now. ♥

It's only the first day....

....and already I'm falling back into my old patterns! I know I'm expecting too much of myself by thinking something will change already--as I said, tis only the first day--but holy CRAP, man! I do not want to do this again!

I have started getting to know people more so over the internet four times before getting to know them in real life. Okay, maybe a few more times than that, but basically? The most undiluted times that occured? Definitely those four times. One was Homar. That obviously didn't end well. (I'm STILL referring to him as Homar at times, of course it didn't end well.) The second is now my best friend (woot!) and the third and fourth are to remain nameless because I REALLY don't want to get into that. It's one o'clock in the morning and I NEED TO BE ASLEEP but I'm not. So I'm just not going to get into that. But one out of four? One fourth of the time? No, that's not good. Not good at ALL. And I'm pretty sure the only reason it worked out with my amazing biffle is that I was kind of forced to be around him due to band and the concert. So I got to be more comfortable around him.

BUT WITH THOSE OTHER THREE? NO WAY, MAN! I am WAY too nervous around any of them. It's because of how it went down with Omar. I know it is. We tried to...y'know..."date" (though I doubt it really counted as that on any level) and it didn't work. I was way too nervous around him and now I'm scared of doing it again. And it sucks!

Now? Now I'm talking to another person and getting to know them more over the internet a bit...although I don't think I can really consider it "getting to know them" when I'm just answering questions they ask. I don't really ask about them. Maybe it's a subconscious thing? I'm scared of it happening again, so I just answer their questions and ask few of my own? Or perhaps I want someone else to have that feeling I dread, so I'm trying to optimize the conditions. I don't know. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing this and they simply annoy me. I said before they kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Is this just an extension of that?

Gah. I swear sometimes, I'm gonna end up like Dora (Questionable Content reference, btw). I'll cripple myself emotionally with a bunch of stupid questions that no one else ever thinks in these sorts of situations.

I need to go to sleep. I need to stop asking myself all these questions.

But...The Green Mile is on, dude!! And this is the kind of stuff I wanna write--kind of scary, showing the horrors of humanity and such, but still making you feel okay at the end! Like Duma Key and The Dreamcatcher! (Why are all my references Stephen King books?!) I don't know! I want to write something good.

And with that little rant of unrelatedness, I bid you adieu.

happy new yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar

I'm not very happy about it, honestly.

I have to go back to school in two days. Usually, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But I've just got so much to do...and I don't want to be around those people that make me feel like crap. The little bit of social interaction I had over break was good. It was fantastic. I want it to stay like this. I want summer break.

*headdeeeeeeeeeesk*

The only good thing is that if I maintain my A in physics this semester (which I plan to wholeheartedly), I don't have to take my exam. So I will be spending that time studying for some other exam. Probably my Russian or something.

I really really hope I can get an extension on that.

I don't want to go back to school. These last two days need to last for forever.

....i feel like crap.

But it's a new beginning, right? ....right?