Monday, August 2, 2010

Two sides to every coin, right?

I'm so torn between happy and freaking depressed right now.

I made someone's night just by saying "OH HEY YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T ACTUALLY SEVENTEEN UNTIL 10:03PM, SO HERE'S ANOTHER HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and being so cute I made an Emily laugh, apparently. And I wrote a long scene thing about these two new characters I love to death now (see Authorly, now conveniently linked in the sidebar thing there, for more information). I got ice cream and I relaxed all day! WHY SHOULDN'T I BE ECSTATIC OR AT LEAST CONTENT?!

On the flip side, I'm also taking someone's "why aren't more girls unique" a little too personally. Why aren't a lot of us unique? BECAUSE BEING LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IS A COMFORT THAT THE MORE INSECURE OF US ENJOY. BECAUSE, SOMETIMES, WE JUST NEED TO PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE TO FEEL LIKE WE CAN LIKE OURSELVES. OKAY? And it's not our fault, darnit.

Of course, on top of that, I'm freaking out about not fitting an image they want and being depressed over that and NYAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

I want someone to hold me but the only person that would be more than willing to at this point, I think, would cause me to have some sort of panic attack. Maybe. I don't know.

Anxiety sucks so much.

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